That is a “low cost” comment – predictable!
Read what I wrote carefully. I said it varies according to social/cultural factors. In every country – even Sweden – there are communities where values remain very traditional, with very traditional gender roles. Obviously nobody will admit this openly. But a lot of “family pressure” situations (which people are willing to talk about) are directly related to this.
Peter wrote:
That is a “low cost” comment
You shouldn’t assume that all comments refer to you. And even when they do, they may refer to other people as well.
predictable!
If you’ve been around EuroGA for a while then the general position of frequent posters is indeed quite predictable. That goes for you, me and many others. Does that mean we should stop discussing?
Does that mean we should stop discussing?
Of course not, and you are making my point too 
FWIW I think most guys complaining about this have only themselves to blame. Most people make their choices along the “path of life” and one has to carry responsibility for making these choices.
Bobo wrote:
Can this indeed be ‘generally said’?
I doubt it. As opposed to a few decades ago women today are much more self sufficient and rather less dependent on being married off to be provided for. Which imho is a good thing but of course also means they will be more vocal about things they don’t like.
If anything about unreasonable expectations, I am more worried about today’s youngsters who grow up in a world where “influencer” is a desirable career path and where facts take second or third row behind all the garbage the internet has to “offer”. But then again, it’s well known that old farts like myself worry about the “youth of today” just as our parents worried about us.
Maybe sometimes people should be more realistic about their ambitions and dreams and sometimes they need to be pulled from the cloud they are sitting on and firmly planted back on solid ground. The older I get, the less I look at dreams and head in the cloud projects as something favorable but rather as something which mostly end in frustration and depression. Too many people are not able to draw a line and pursue other ways once it becomes clear that the “life dream” won’t happen. This happens a lot in aviation unfortunately, where many wanna be airline pilots become sad existences for the rest of their lives. And quite a few of them end up in GA, as there is nobody there to tell them they don’t have the “right stuff” to fly airplanes.
It depends on where you hang out, what demographic you are, etc.
Here on EuroGA we have a lot of younger people – which is really great – and they are obviously unlikely to be in traditional relationships of 50 years ago.
But equally obviously a lot of GA is firmly in the older demographic and there you will see a lot more traditional situations.
Ultimately any discussion around this area is vulnerable to an ambush which most people (not all – for those who follow British politics; the fastest ambush in living memory) see coming from miles away, which is why most people either position on the “safe” end or avoid participating altogether.
Ultimately, as I said earlier, anybody who complains that they can’t fly due to their spouse’s lack of support needs to address that somehow, or give up flying.
Flying is a funny hobby; there is no other hobby I know of which is such a powerful magnet. I used to water-ski; gave that up once the ski club disintegrated so the social aspect was lost. I also used to windsurf; that never had much of a social scene and I gave it up due to lack of time for sitting on the beach all day waiting for the wind to get up (or drop). Both great fun at the time but both had to go when the time came. And both much more time-consuming than flying – a whole day gone! You generally can’t do that when in a relationship unless you are both into it. Now I ski but that is obviously very part-time. But, in flying, people hang in there despite all odds, despite all pressures to drop it, despite not being able to afford it. Maybe due to the invertment which a PPL is, and much more so with an IR. An IR tends to mean owning a plane, which then elevates the committment to another level.
For me it is almost the full opposite. I didn’t renew my membership at the club for financial reasons. We bought a house the year before, our second child was on his way so we could use the money for that. I already wanted to to it the year before but my then-girlfriend (now wife) pushed me to keep on flying. I didn’t renew my membership in january 2020…. Actually a bit lucky because from april onwards i lost over 50% of my income. Now this year she renewed my membership as a Christmas present and is even motivating me to do the FI course when my rating is valid again.
And the amazing thing is that she was actually afraid of flying when we first met. She already said i am allowed to buy an airplane (as long as it’s pink). So does someone have the numbers for tomorrows euro millions lottery?
I just have to hope my 2.5y old son like the inside of an airplane as much as he sees one fly.
That sounds great
She is smart enough to realise that the best relationships are where the two people have their own “projects”, while having enough common interests to enjoy time together.
It’s an interesting read for me. I don’t consider flying as dangerous. Right before we enter the airfield by car I keep saying “now the dangerous part of the journey is over”.
True for boarding an airline flight. Wrong by magnitudes for private flying. Unfortunately.
Statistics about travelling accidents are usually measured in accidents per distance. The faster you go, the better the statistics become. Now, if you instead measured how dangerous it is to sit inside one while travelling; accidents per time of travelling, then train beats airlines. Thus the safest seat to sit in per unit of time is trains, or perhaps a cruise ship.
Bobo wrote:
Can this indeed be ‘generally said’?
I think it can. But things differ between generations and between districts, communities, countries. It was more prevalent when my generation was young, than it is in today’s “marriage ready” generation. I don’t think that is the issue here though. The issue is that career, family (thinking kids here), house etc. takes a lot of time and energy. Even career and family can be a huge clash that results in ruin if not sorted out and planned. Then both must be committed to make it happen. Bringing in yet another disturbance like GA, doesn’t help that situation.
When kids get older, and the career settles (in some way for larger or shorter time) more time and energy becomes available. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that both individuals of the initial couple see it that way, or that it happens synchronous in that couple. These are difficult things, with no ready set solution. What I read in the initial comment was that one part was very far from relaxing the initial commitment. Will that ever change? And if so, will it change before it’s too late? I don’t know, but I have lived for some time, experienced stuff and seen stuff.
Think of GA as “bang for the buck”. There are lots of different bangs, and they require different amounts of bucks (bucks = time + money + effort in arbitrary relative amounts). One thing seems to be independent of all this, and that is the shape of the function f = bang(buck). That function, if not exponential, is at least a square function. Putting one unit of buck creates one unit of bang. Putting two units of bucks creates four units of bang. There are also thresholds in the bang. Below a certain level there isn’t enough of it to matter (you are better off doing something else). Above that level it suddenly seems it has increased manifolds, and few other things can compete.
In the end, life has a tendency to interfere (with GA) no matter what you do, but that’s the way things are. So maybe relaxing it for 10 years is a good idea? Perhaps, perhaps not. I would think though, if the plan is to come back, you would be much better off keeping your ratings current. It’s the minimal effort you can do, and it is already way below the threshold anyway. At least it will give you a peace of mind. Maybe in 2-3 years things have changed already.
Snoopy wrote:
True for boarding an airline flight. Wrong by magnitudes for private flying. Unfortunately.This is indeed one of the unfortunate truths, which is actually not an advertisement for our hobby. I try to ‘sell’ GA usually with the risk reduction argument. As long as we pilots make rational decisions based on facts, checklists and common sense, we can reduce a lot of potential risks. Technical failures are rare compared to pilot errors. I’m sure this has been discussed many times before, but I’m convinced that GA can be as safe as driving, as long as we stay professional and humble.
I think skiing is more dangerous than flying, especially when it comes to not being able to support a family (e.g. arm in a sling, crutches, etc if you need these to work)I’m afraid skiing on slopes is way safer, compared to flying GA. You can break a bone or two, but you don’t pay so fast with your life. What makes winter sports really dangerous is off-piste skiing, especially avalanches. But here you can also use common sense and risk-reduction methods, like 3×3 from Werner Munter.
It’s always funny how “solutions” come from people who are not in that situation.People who are not in the same situation can see things from a different perspective. This helps to stay clear of tunnel visions. You don’t have to agree though. Every person manage their life challenges differently anyway.
I honestly think dreams are what makes more people unhappy and depressed than those who stand on their two legs and see their lives realistically. Particularly if you reach a certain age and see that the dreams are that, imaginations which will not come true.People are unhappy, because many didn’t even try to achieve something special in life. Quite a few people prefer to remain dreaming, instead of taking their fate into their own hands. Sure, life is not fair. Some people have a longer and harder way to go, compared to others. (I always try to remain thankful for being born on this side of the globe and beeing healthy so far.) Some can’t archive it due to limited health. And yes, you can fail. But I guess no one was successful, without failing. Without a doubt: Remaining realistic is important in life. But also a strong will and seeing glasses half-full, instead of half-empty.
