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Flying and family pressure

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MedEwok wrote:

She has suggested “pausing” flying for 10 years until the children are grown up and I must say it is not a completely unreasonable suggestion but I am not sure if I will ever get back into GA if I do

Perhaps a reality check is required here? Sorry, but the chances she will ever “approve” your flying are slim. That’s my experience on these matters, both personally, and from all others with similar “problems” Your second wife will usually be much more understanding… Enough said

The elephant is the circulation
ENVA ENOP ENMO, Norway

Your second wife will usually be much more understanding…

That’s because you choose the 2nd wife (or a GF) for her acceptance of you as you are. Few men do that when they are young And we have the old saying: the man hopes the woman will not change, but she does, and the woman hopes the man will change, but he doesn’t.

Keep on flying, even if sporadic, but always with a safety pilot. Share costs.

That is the best option by far. Almost nobody gets back into flying.

Administrator
Shoreham EGKA, United Kingdom

Peter wrote:

That’s because you choose the 2nd wife (or a GF) for her acceptance of you as you are.

Indeed.

The elephant is the circulation
ENVA ENOP ENMO, Norway

lionel wrote:

time availability,

In my case. And in many other folks cases too whom I know.

lionel wrote:

Technically legally one doesn’t need the min hours, if one revalidates with a proficiency check with an examiner.

True, but the moment you are talking proficiency check, it will mean training e.t.c. So I reckon 12 hours over the last 12 months before revalidating may well mean less time and over a much larger period.

lionel wrote:

Another way to see it is that, wife/partner distaste notwithstanding, possibly it is your children that will want to go flying with you :) Is that a possibility, have you tried it, or is the “other co-parent” vetoing that?

That happens a lot. And even if not vetoing you may see massive fear and discomfort, so you may well relent and forget about it, as you don’t want to be the cause of mental anguish. The same can go for the pilot himself, as in most cases, feminism nonwithstandig, he’s the provider. He dies, the whole family has a problem.

LSZH(work) LSZF (GA base), Switzerland

I’ve posted this before but my ex demanded a 2nd pilot when I flew with either of my two sons.

Funnily enough she was happy if the said pilot was sitting in the back Hence my view was that it was primarily a cost escalation device (I used to pay for the food+hotel).

Others have had the same situation. Usually one finds that when the said child enjoys flying a lot, he/she will start kicking up so much fuss (over missed flights/trips; it is often not possible to find a pilot, even if you are offering a totally free trip) that the ex will choose the path of least resistance and the requirement will be dropped.

One thing certain with children is that the situation is constantly changing.

Administrator
Shoreham EGKA, United Kingdom

Is this still GA vs energy and inflation? or GA vs partner and kids?

Last Edited by Ibra at 12 Feb 23:04
Paris/Essex, France/UK, United Kingdom

Ibra wrote:

Is this still GA vs energy and inflation? or GA vs partner and kids?

Natural thread drift I’d say

The flight school leaving my homebase was caused by rising costs, or so they claimed, but interestingly everyone then jumped on the part where I explained that my wife doesn’t want me to buy my own aircraft instead and suggests I take I flying hiatus of say 10 years.

And yes the posts by @Mooney_Driver are spot on regarding the almost irrational level of fear of taking risks displayed by women who become mothers – this was previously discussed in many other threads but certainly is a relevant factor for my particular case.

For now I will go the way of the slightest resistance and stick with the same company who still offer rentals in nearby Braunschweig EDVE, but I will also be on the lookout for shares in local aircraft.

Low-hours pilot
EDVM Hildesheim, Germany

Ibra wrote:

Is this still GA vs energy and inflation? or GA vs partner and kids?

Basically I think the two are connected.

Lots of people claim they stop flying due to financial problems, and quite a few did. Quite a lot more give up due to constant demand on their time which precludes any activity outside the family / work. It’s also not about the “evil” spouses in most cases but simply the fact that if you try to share the work between each other, none of them has time for extra familiar activities other than maybe a coffee with friends once in a while.

This is not a problem limited to flying but general to everything which takes time which people for various reasons don’t have. Why do you think sports clubs see the same kind of hiatus or rather folks only join up past 60 such as in golf?

Clearly inflation does a lot. Since the price of Avgas hiked so badly, a lot of people have cut their flying even more than before. And even if you put the prices back down, they are gone to other activities.

LSZH(work) LSZF (GA base), Switzerland

Peter wrote:

I’ve posted this before but my ex demanded a 2nd pilot when I flew with either of my two sons.

So make the sons become pilots. It’s the easiest way for solving that

Germany

Getting married, raising kids, staying married is a life well lived. You didn’t make vows to keep your SEP valid, your logbook won’t ask you why you were never around.
Disregard the cynics here. You won’t think of your logbook and trips you flew on your deathbed. You will be glad to have done your very best to raise a family, and in your case, save lives as a day job.
There is no law of Nature that says that anyone can raise a family, have a demanding job and fly 40hrs per year. Pretty much the opposite. And when you look at the lives of the guys who fly all the time, they are not enviable, if not miserable.
My dad was a hospital physician and a private pilot too, and pretty much stopped flying for years. My mom took upon her to let him fly sometimes, but most wives would have disagreed.
Myself, I haven’t flown since October, need a club checkout to fly again, have no idea when I will but I couldn’t care less. That’s true even if my wife asks me when I will fly, when I will take them flying. When I tell her about flying ULs, she says she would have to do the same :)
Think a bit long-term. Will you have more time to fly or will you be driving your kids around to sports and parties ? If your wife still doesn’t like flying, you won’t be taking the family across the alps so consider ULs. They are really cheaper to run and park, and it makes for quality time for you and one of your kids at a time.
Finally, we and all the couples we know only pursue one professional ambition. Both spouses willing to climb the ladder must take a big toll on family life.

In short, do the right thing. My personal motto, paraphrasing Thomas Merton, is « when you have two options, the harder one is the right one ».

LFOU, France
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